thehereandafter

Ah, " the chair"... A man and woman from a satellite company came to my house to install my dream appliance...TIVO! They were very friendly and very southern (from Mississippi). While they were working on the installation, we chatted with one another as most southerns do about our children, the economy, and the weather. Being of no help to them, at all, I decided to sit down in " the chair" to continue our conversation. Very politely the man said, "Hey, that's a really nice chair". It is, in fact, an upholstered recliner and quite nice if I do say so myself. Without hesitation I cheerfully responded with, "it's my dead aunt's." Caught by surprise and not sure of what to say then, the woman took matters into her own hands, probably to salvage the easy going conversation we were having. She cheerfully said,"I love that throw blanket on the arm of the chair...have you had it long?" "About ten years," I replied,...

As I sat in my chair this morning, beside the window, with the sun streaming across the room.....(I do other things than just sit in chairs but we will get to that another day)..my mind kept drifting into confusing thoughts between my life in the here ... all I have been doing and feeling for twenty years...and thoughts of my life in the after ...that unknown journey that is ahead of me. In the here (my last twenty years of life that I loved, embraced, and eagerly tackled), I had everything that I wanted . I never wanted the large house with the six bathrooms (too much to clean), or the big fancy SUV (I would never be able to afford gas or the insurance). I never wanted to have a size 0 figure (never had that and never will have that), or a beautifully bronze body (you won't find me lying nude in one of those cancer coffins). Instead, I always wanted things I found in other people and that impressed me. I wanted to be as loving as my Mom and Dad, as respected and giving as...

Well, the sun streamed into my window this morning! Today will be another day that will bring new challenges and hopefully a growth in faith . My children, after twenty some years of being home (I homeschooled them all these years), are off to new adventures and experiences. I am so blessed and grateful that my children are normal, happy, and well adjusted, but where does that leave me? For all of my adult life, I knew where I was going, and that what I was doing had so much meaning. That was here but what in my life has meaning after? As, I sat in my favorite chair looking out my window, I had to let out a giggle recalling the events of yesterday. I stepped out of my "comfort zone" and got me a blog! I was so excited and if I am honest, so proud, that I immediately called my baby sister. After several tries, I had to face the fact that she was not home. An answering machine would not stop me from receiving a big pat on the back. So I put in a call to one of my older sist...

Just starting!! Just starting in more ways than one… I am here, now, after twenty years of homeschooling my children, knowing what my life was about and knowing where it was going. But, what I did not know and at least did not have a realistic view of, was what it would be like in the after . I was there , in a place that was everything my heart and soul yearned for. Now, I am here and not quite sure what that means and it is definitely not what my heart and soul yearns for. My saving grace is being able to repeat over and over again to myself, FAITH… HOPE. TRUST…Trust in the promises that God has given me all my life, hope in each new morning when the sun streams brightly through my window, and faith in a God who loves me and knows so much more than I. It is a scary journey to be taken out of everything you have always known and completely and entirely loved. It is a loss, a setback, but also a challenge to grow and develop and conquer. Am I up to the challenge? As the sun came str...