Overflow of our hearts
Communication is hard for me. I want to communicate in the right way but I fail often. For the last couple of weeks I have been reading a book that God has used to bring some key issues to me and I want to share them. Keep an open mind and pray that the Lord will speak to your heart as he has done for me.
"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:43-46
These passages of scripture are very powerful. "For out of the overflow of our hearts our mouths speak"...word problems reveal heart problems. The people and situations around do not make us say what we say; they are only the occasion for our hearts to reveal themselves in words. Our words reveal the true desires of our hearts. Think to the little things in life...your wife needing you to attend a function on our one day off when you have made plans to do "your thing", a wife that wants to get in bed and your husband forgot to tell you he needs a shirt washed for his meeting in the morning, you have just settled down to watch your favorite program and one of the kids need help with a project that needs turning in tomorrow, you just washed the floor and your husband comes in from mowing the grass and messes it up, think about it...the list is endless.
Is it wrong to be upset in most of these situations? Absolutely not...what is the problem is how we communicate with each other in these situations. James 4 tell us.."What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have , because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
There are a couple of points here. One, it is not wrong to desire...desire is good...it pushes us forward. We will and should always desire something...a right heart for example. James also doesn't say that the problem is evil desires. It is not evil for a wife to want a clean floor or a hard working man to have some time to himself to practice his golf or watch a football game. The important phrase here is ...they come from your desires that battle within you. James is letting us know that there is a war going on within our hearts, a war for control. Stop and think...if a certain desire controls my heart, there are only two ways I can respond to you. If you help me get what I want, I will enjoy and appreciate you. But if you stand in my way, I will experience and express anger when you are around. I want something, but because of you I cannot get it, so I will quarrel and fight.
Actually, for the desires we have in this world, if you look closely they have become idols. Think about it ...the desire for success at work becomes a demand for appreciation from the boss, the desire to have enough money to pay the bills builds into a lust for affluence, the desire for friendship becomes a demand to be accepted. What was once a healthy desire takes control, and the desire that originally motivated me changes into something very different. Rather than being motivated by a love for God and my neighbor, I am motivated by a pursuit of what will bring me pleasure, and I am angry at anyone who stand in the way.
Listen to Romans 1:25..."They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator who is forever praised. Amen." All human beings are worshipers; the issue is only what or whom we worship. When we as sinners exchange worship and service of the Creator for worship and service of the created we find ourselves in trouble. And for most of us it is subtle and slow. The scriptures are telling us that if we want to see real lasting change in our communication we have to start from within. If we do not deal with what we really love, with what really rules our hearts, we will never be able to speak to one another in the way God has called us to speak. We must take a real look inside our hearts, because as Christ said in Luke 6, it is out of the overflow of our hearts that our mouths speak. And as James said, we fight and quarrel because of the desires that have taken control there...our words are one of the ways we seek to gain, maintain, and keep what is really important to us, what we really want, and what we are really living for.
This is enough for today...examine your hearts closely...don't try to justify. As I said before, there is no sin in wanting a clean house, obedient children, time alone, a raise on the job, faster service in your favorite restaurant, etc. Our downfall is how we communicate these things to others. Do we fuse and fume, give our spouse the silent treatment, belittle our children, use demanding tones to others...? How do you deal with the situations and relationships you encounter every day? If in paying special attention to our communication with the important people of our lives we watched a video tape of ourselves what would we see? What would we be seeking to accomplish? What would someone else conclude was important to you?
Again, I will be doing more on this so for right now ask God to show us what is really going on in our hearts. Examine our hearts with hope, asking God to reveal to us what needs to change. God is the one that can and will purify us from all unrighteousness.
"Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere yougo; he's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6
"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:43-46
These passages of scripture are very powerful. "For out of the overflow of our hearts our mouths speak"...word problems reveal heart problems. The people and situations around do not make us say what we say; they are only the occasion for our hearts to reveal themselves in words. Our words reveal the true desires of our hearts. Think to the little things in life...your wife needing you to attend a function on our one day off when you have made plans to do "your thing", a wife that wants to get in bed and your husband forgot to tell you he needs a shirt washed for his meeting in the morning, you have just settled down to watch your favorite program and one of the kids need help with a project that needs turning in tomorrow, you just washed the floor and your husband comes in from mowing the grass and messes it up, think about it...the list is endless.
Is it wrong to be upset in most of these situations? Absolutely not...what is the problem is how we communicate with each other in these situations. James 4 tell us.."What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have , because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
There are a couple of points here. One, it is not wrong to desire...desire is good...it pushes us forward. We will and should always desire something...a right heart for example. James also doesn't say that the problem is evil desires. It is not evil for a wife to want a clean floor or a hard working man to have some time to himself to practice his golf or watch a football game. The important phrase here is ...they come from your desires that battle within you. James is letting us know that there is a war going on within our hearts, a war for control. Stop and think...if a certain desire controls my heart, there are only two ways I can respond to you. If you help me get what I want, I will enjoy and appreciate you. But if you stand in my way, I will experience and express anger when you are around. I want something, but because of you I cannot get it, so I will quarrel and fight.
Actually, for the desires we have in this world, if you look closely they have become idols. Think about it ...the desire for success at work becomes a demand for appreciation from the boss, the desire to have enough money to pay the bills builds into a lust for affluence, the desire for friendship becomes a demand to be accepted. What was once a healthy desire takes control, and the desire that originally motivated me changes into something very different. Rather than being motivated by a love for God and my neighbor, I am motivated by a pursuit of what will bring me pleasure, and I am angry at anyone who stand in the way.
Listen to Romans 1:25..."They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator who is forever praised. Amen." All human beings are worshipers; the issue is only what or whom we worship. When we as sinners exchange worship and service of the Creator for worship and service of the created we find ourselves in trouble. And for most of us it is subtle and slow. The scriptures are telling us that if we want to see real lasting change in our communication we have to start from within. If we do not deal with what we really love, with what really rules our hearts, we will never be able to speak to one another in the way God has called us to speak. We must take a real look inside our hearts, because as Christ said in Luke 6, it is out of the overflow of our hearts that our mouths speak. And as James said, we fight and quarrel because of the desires that have taken control there...our words are one of the ways we seek to gain, maintain, and keep what is really important to us, what we really want, and what we are really living for.
This is enough for today...examine your hearts closely...don't try to justify. As I said before, there is no sin in wanting a clean house, obedient children, time alone, a raise on the job, faster service in your favorite restaurant, etc. Our downfall is how we communicate these things to others. Do we fuse and fume, give our spouse the silent treatment, belittle our children, use demanding tones to others...? How do you deal with the situations and relationships you encounter every day? If in paying special attention to our communication with the important people of our lives we watched a video tape of ourselves what would we see? What would we be seeking to accomplish? What would someone else conclude was important to you?
Again, I will be doing more on this so for right now ask God to show us what is really going on in our hearts. Examine our hearts with hope, asking God to reveal to us what needs to change. God is the one that can and will purify us from all unrighteousness.
"Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere yougo; he's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6
Thank you for sharing. Your words today are actually words that I have had run through my mind over these past few days/weeks. From the abundance of the heart, the mouth does speak. We all should always be aware/cautious of how we respond to others. Love to you and your family!
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