Happy Anniversary
Today is my anniversary! We have made it twenty-eight years. When I hear myself say that I feel like I need to be carbon dated! I recall one day when my husband and I were at my house, in my parent’s living room (both my husband and I lived at home until we married). We weren't married as of yet, just engaged. My parents were in another room with some friends who had come to visit with them. The friends who were visiting were in their middle thirties, old in our book. The four entered the living room, with my mom announcing they wanted to talk with us. All four had that very adult look on their faces (we were still in our teens), that scary look that immediately causes you to say, "It wasn't my fault. I know whatever it is I AM INNOCENT!!" (automatic line of protection that is learned from living in a large family). My mom excitedly announced that these two friends were going to be married (neither of them had been married before)! The woman grinned and threw out her hand to show off a very, I mean very nice diamond (we guessed that on social security you could buy nice things like that). My dad gave the man a few gentle slaps of approval on his back. Russell and I, in a state of bewilderment, had the presence of mind to offer something that might have resembled congratulations. As soon as the adults exited the room, Russell and I gave each other that knowing look..."Why in the world, at their age, would they want to get married?! They are soooooo old!" Oh, we knew of people that got married, but all of them were older people who had lost their spouses. Not old people that had never been married! Looking back, then as a teenager, passing thirty meant you were about as old as my parents...you know parental. Now, to me thirty looks pretty darn good.
In the here, time moves slowly...you are so busy adjusting to marriage (trying to whip that husband into shape), then you have babies (motherhood keeps you feeling young). The babies are changing daily and so is life. As the babies grow into children and your marriage grows (hopefully you have him pretty well trained around the time the kids start kindergarten) and changes, you are busy staying young with the kids. You wear your hair long (and don't have to color it and it still has its natural shine), you shop on a regular basis at Toy R Us, wear clothes from Old Navy and holler at the football games (this of course, embrasses the kids). You take exercise classes at the YWCA (you want to keep yourself taunt for that Victoria Secrets night), teach the kids how to bowl and skate, and practice volleyball and soccer with them. You go out on Friday and Saturday nights and order fishbowl margaritas. You seem to be able to function on only three hours of sleep a night, you have your finger on the pulse of activity around you (you have to so the kids don't get the best of you), and life is full.
The after, on the other hand, seems to be a sharp contrast. First of all, my data is not very scientific ( it is more girl talk), just my personal cares and concerns but also those voiced to me from a lot of women in their forties. One day you feel young, (even though you stay tired from only three hours of sleep a night), playful, smart, and in control. Then one day, or it seems, you look around you and everything is different. All the women in your bible study (you are the youngest at just forty) have cut their hair short (why the short hair at forty...what is up with that!). The women are sharing the phone numbers of their beautician that "can do wonders with color. You go home look in the mirror....yikes! I have wisps of gray hair. That is just the start. You realize that it has been five years since you have been in Toy R Us, Wal-Mart, and Target are the places you frequent (and even there, you realize you won't buy the $9.99 item, you will wait for it to go on sale). You venture into Old Navy and everyone in there looks like they need a babysitter. The clothes are so small they look like they will only fit on a pre-teen (maybe it's that high-rise shirt thing and low-rise pant thing). Hollering at the football games has just become a faint memory...football season starts too early in the year ... it's too hot, too loud, and too many people (not mentioning drinks are $3.00 each and we can buy a whole six-pack for that). Exercise classes are now out of the question...can't do free weights because of the carpul tunnel in your wrist...the bicycle hurts your knees...the machines hurt your neck...and in the aerobic classes you feel like you stand out, similar to the sighting of a beached whale (and the exercise pants make you look like you have a wedgie from the back). There is no more bowling for you, the kids don't even go bowling until 11p.m...they have discovered Cosmic Bowling (lights out and you bowl with neon or lighted pins), soccer, volleyball and skating have been replaced with boogie boarding (do you realize that there are sharks out there in them there waters), snowboarding (i've noticed I have trouble keeping my balance walking down stairs), and skiing (the cold makes the arthritis in my shoulder flare up). Friday and Saturday night "dates" are far and few between...to get into a resturant on the weekends there is a 45-60 minute wait (my husband doesn't wait for a table, only to get poor service because of overcrowding), there are too few movies that are acceptable for us to see, and to be perfectly honest...there is not alot we can do and still be home by 9 p.m.( by 9pm we are ready to be in our p.j. waiting on the new episode of "MONK" on USA). As far as the fishbowl margaritas, they bring on migraines (those also develop in our forties). The functioning on three hours of sleep left you like a thief in the night....you need at least ten hours and then around 2 p.m. (if you call them their answering machines pick up, which gives them away) most housewives are catching a nap. You have no idea of the pulse of activity...the kids have jam packed schedules that change minute by minute (which is almost impossible for them to keep up with)...for you the highlight of activity is losing yourself in the local and national news (at least you feel informed about something). It is also, around this age, that we have what we used to joke about behind the backs of our parents.....senior moments...I can't believe I said that! You remember as a teenager or young adult when your mom would throw the silverware in the trash can and the scrappings from the plates in the sink?!! It would make us howl with laughter and we always brought it to mom's attention. Now it's me....I can be cooking, walk into the pantry to retrieve an item, and end up just standing there unable to recall what I went in for. I usually come back out and ( I have convinced myself that this does work) start again...but not without the kids being wise to me ( once as I returned from a trip to the pantry empty-handed my son suggested I make a list to take in with me…it would save me time). My coffee cup (full of coffee) gets lost almost every day and at least once a day I walk into a room and can't remember what I went into that room for. Keep my finger on the pulse of activity...I don't think so...I need to keep my finger on my own pulse!
Okay, so maybe this was a little too much for one post ... (now some prozac and a fishbowl margarita are a must, no matter how big a migraine it brings on)...but really, have you ever known of anyone who does not adjust to middle age. I know, we don't like that word either but I love and trust the words of my Saviour! God's word tells us that we can wear our age with pride...."Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life". (Proverbs 16:31). His word reassures us that the older we get we are blessed with wisdom and understanding, "Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?" (Job 12:12). He shows us we can be strong and vigorous..."Here I am today; eighty-five years old! I am as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; i'm just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then." (Joshua 14:10b-11). His word promises prosperity, contentment and sustenance..."If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment." (Job 36:11). "Even to your old age and gray hair I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you". (Isaiah 46:4). And last but not least, for us women, in the years following raising our families he has a very important job for us..."Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God". (Titus 2:3-5). Well, this paints a different picture than the one our minds have conjured up....a crown of splendor, wisdom, understanding, strength, vigor, prosperity, contentment sustenance, and a job tailored just for me. It paints a pretty great picture and a masterpiece of a future. I think i'll make a note of it!!
Today is my anniversary! Twenty-eight years and at times it seems like yesterday. The images of that teenage bride, full of hopes and dreams is still fresh today. I can still feel every step I took as I walked up that long beautiful isle, holding tightly to my daddy's arm. I was filled with love and awe as I caught a glimpse of my beloved, waitng for me to join him at the front of the church. Some things are still the same, some things very different since that first year....Thank you Russell for all the years... all the love you have given me...the gift of our two children... your faithful comittment to share our lives together....all the wonderful memories...all the care and compassion you have given me. Also, thank you Lord, for your abundant blessing...without you there would be no union...without you we would not be one...without you we would not be!
In the here, time moves slowly...you are so busy adjusting to marriage (trying to whip that husband into shape), then you have babies (motherhood keeps you feeling young). The babies are changing daily and so is life. As the babies grow into children and your marriage grows (hopefully you have him pretty well trained around the time the kids start kindergarten) and changes, you are busy staying young with the kids. You wear your hair long (and don't have to color it and it still has its natural shine), you shop on a regular basis at Toy R Us, wear clothes from Old Navy and holler at the football games (this of course, embrasses the kids). You take exercise classes at the YWCA (you want to keep yourself taunt for that Victoria Secrets night), teach the kids how to bowl and skate, and practice volleyball and soccer with them. You go out on Friday and Saturday nights and order fishbowl margaritas. You seem to be able to function on only three hours of sleep a night, you have your finger on the pulse of activity around you (you have to so the kids don't get the best of you), and life is full.
The after, on the other hand, seems to be a sharp contrast. First of all, my data is not very scientific ( it is more girl talk), just my personal cares and concerns but also those voiced to me from a lot of women in their forties. One day you feel young, (even though you stay tired from only three hours of sleep a night), playful, smart, and in control. Then one day, or it seems, you look around you and everything is different. All the women in your bible study (you are the youngest at just forty) have cut their hair short (why the short hair at forty...what is up with that!). The women are sharing the phone numbers of their beautician that "can do wonders with color. You go home look in the mirror....yikes! I have wisps of gray hair. That is just the start. You realize that it has been five years since you have been in Toy R Us, Wal-Mart, and Target are the places you frequent (and even there, you realize you won't buy the $9.99 item, you will wait for it to go on sale). You venture into Old Navy and everyone in there looks like they need a babysitter. The clothes are so small they look like they will only fit on a pre-teen (maybe it's that high-rise shirt thing and low-rise pant thing). Hollering at the football games has just become a faint memory...football season starts too early in the year ... it's too hot, too loud, and too many people (not mentioning drinks are $3.00 each and we can buy a whole six-pack for that). Exercise classes are now out of the question...can't do free weights because of the carpul tunnel in your wrist...the bicycle hurts your knees...the machines hurt your neck...and in the aerobic classes you feel like you stand out, similar to the sighting of a beached whale (and the exercise pants make you look like you have a wedgie from the back). There is no more bowling for you, the kids don't even go bowling until 11p.m...they have discovered Cosmic Bowling (lights out and you bowl with neon or lighted pins), soccer, volleyball and skating have been replaced with boogie boarding (do you realize that there are sharks out there in them there waters), snowboarding (i've noticed I have trouble keeping my balance walking down stairs), and skiing (the cold makes the arthritis in my shoulder flare up). Friday and Saturday night "dates" are far and few between...to get into a resturant on the weekends there is a 45-60 minute wait (my husband doesn't wait for a table, only to get poor service because of overcrowding), there are too few movies that are acceptable for us to see, and to be perfectly honest...there is not alot we can do and still be home by 9 p.m.( by 9pm we are ready to be in our p.j. waiting on the new episode of "MONK" on USA). As far as the fishbowl margaritas, they bring on migraines (those also develop in our forties). The functioning on three hours of sleep left you like a thief in the night....you need at least ten hours and then around 2 p.m. (if you call them their answering machines pick up, which gives them away) most housewives are catching a nap. You have no idea of the pulse of activity...the kids have jam packed schedules that change minute by minute (which is almost impossible for them to keep up with)...for you the highlight of activity is losing yourself in the local and national news (at least you feel informed about something). It is also, around this age, that we have what we used to joke about behind the backs of our parents.....senior moments...I can't believe I said that! You remember as a teenager or young adult when your mom would throw the silverware in the trash can and the scrappings from the plates in the sink?!! It would make us howl with laughter and we always brought it to mom's attention. Now it's me....I can be cooking, walk into the pantry to retrieve an item, and end up just standing there unable to recall what I went in for. I usually come back out and ( I have convinced myself that this does work) start again...but not without the kids being wise to me ( once as I returned from a trip to the pantry empty-handed my son suggested I make a list to take in with me…it would save me time). My coffee cup (full of coffee) gets lost almost every day and at least once a day I walk into a room and can't remember what I went into that room for. Keep my finger on the pulse of activity...I don't think so...I need to keep my finger on my own pulse!
Okay, so maybe this was a little too much for one post ... (now some prozac and a fishbowl margarita are a must, no matter how big a migraine it brings on)...but really, have you ever known of anyone who does not adjust to middle age. I know, we don't like that word either but I love and trust the words of my Saviour! God's word tells us that we can wear our age with pride...."Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life". (Proverbs 16:31). His word reassures us that the older we get we are blessed with wisdom and understanding, "Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?" (Job 12:12). He shows us we can be strong and vigorous..."Here I am today; eighty-five years old! I am as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; i'm just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then." (Joshua 14:10b-11). His word promises prosperity, contentment and sustenance..."If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment." (Job 36:11). "Even to your old age and gray hair I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you". (Isaiah 46:4). And last but not least, for us women, in the years following raising our families he has a very important job for us..."Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God". (Titus 2:3-5). Well, this paints a different picture than the one our minds have conjured up....a crown of splendor, wisdom, understanding, strength, vigor, prosperity, contentment sustenance, and a job tailored just for me. It paints a pretty great picture and a masterpiece of a future. I think i'll make a note of it!!
Today is my anniversary! Twenty-eight years and at times it seems like yesterday. The images of that teenage bride, full of hopes and dreams is still fresh today. I can still feel every step I took as I walked up that long beautiful isle, holding tightly to my daddy's arm. I was filled with love and awe as I caught a glimpse of my beloved, waitng for me to join him at the front of the church. Some things are still the same, some things very different since that first year....Thank you Russell for all the years... all the love you have given me...the gift of our two children... your faithful comittment to share our lives together....all the wonderful memories...all the care and compassion you have given me. Also, thank you Lord, for your abundant blessing...without you there would be no union...without you we would not be one...without you we would not be!
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