The Real You
We all like a certain amount of control in our lives. Some of us like more control than others. That control or the appearance of having control also helps us give to others the appearance that everything in our lives is under control. Many of you have probably seen the movie "Monster In-Law" with Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez. This movie, to me, is so funny I laugh through the whole thing even though I have seen it half a dozen times or so. Even thinking about it makes me laugh. In short, Jane Fonda is a wealthy, famous mother of a grown son. Her son is her everything and he is a good son to her. But, she is a very controlling mother and doesn't want to let go of him. He has fallen in love with Jennifer Lopez, a very sweet, innocent, beautiful young lady, who, of course, is not good enough for Jane Fonda's son. The son brings Jennifer home to met his mother and while they are there having tea asks Jennifer to marry him. This sends Jane Fonda into a tail-spin and you will just have to rent the movie to see what happens in the rest of the movie!
One of my favorite scenes is right after they tell Jane Fonda that they are going to get married. Jane leaves the room and almost has a nervous breakdown then decides the couple must be pregnant so that is why they are going to tie the knot. She has to find some reason her son to going to marry THIS woman...someone who SHE thinks is, of course, not right for him and definitely out of his league. Jane thinking she has it all figured out puts on her game face, after almost having a nervous breakdown in the other room, and pulls it together. You see, this is a woman who prides herself on control...controlling situations as well as always looking her best and having the upper hand. When she returns to the young couple she doesn't realize she has a tuft of hair standing straight up on the crown of her head. She acts as if everything is normal and calls for her assistant to bring a bottle of champagne. Ruby, the assistant, won't bring the champagne because apparently Jane has a drinking problem and the alcohol is suppose to stay locked up. Jane continues to ask for the champagne to be brought and and the assistant opposes the idea all the time Jane is trying to cover up and pretend like Ruby is quite the "joker" and everything is normal. Finally, with this bantering back and forth, Ruby says,"Fine, but do something with that hair...you look like a damn peacock with that hair sticking up like that!" Jane turns to her son and his girlfriend and tells them what a great assistant that woman is!
Hey, maybe it doesn't look so funny in print but it is really funny in the movie...and sorry for the bad word but in context it is funny.! The point being that we like to be in control and we like to have people think that everything is going just fine...peachy king...wonderful...not a care in the world! Even when our world is crumbling around us, we are frazzled to our wits end, and we are doing everything we can to control our lives, we put on the game face and act like we are on top of the world. Why? Is it because of pride...is it because of fear...is it because we don't want to let people in...is it because we don't know who to confide in...is it because if we admit that life is going badly then the fault lies with us because we were in control?
I believe it is because of all of these things. Too often in life the line between responsiblity and control gets murky and we start crossing over that line. We feel more and more pressure to control the circumstances of our lives and the lives of the people around us. As we hit the ups and downs of life, we have loaded up so much false responsibility upon ourselves from trying to control everything, that we don't know how to handle the pressure we have created for ourselves. Denial seems a good choice...isolation is not a bad idea...making light of the reality and hoping it will all work out soon makes sense...! They seem to make sense but not really.
I have an easier solution. Start each day with a heart to heart God. Tell him that you don't want to be in CONTROL of anything today. "Lord, let me be a responsible not a controlling wife, mother, and daughter. Help me to order my day and to take care of the chores, duties, responsibilities, and relationships that need to be tended to today. But, let me not control any people or circumstance. Help me to always leave you in control of my life and the lives of the people I love. Go before me, lead me and help me in all I do today and let it in all ways honor and glorify you!" If we can learn to hand over control of this life to the Master, the one who has had control of all since the beginning we won't have to worry...we won't have to put on a game face...we won't have to "fix our hair because we look like a peacock sitting there"!
"I will lead the blind by a way they do not know,
In paths they do not know I will guide them
I will make darkness into light before them
And rugged places into plains
These are the things I will do,
And I will not leave them undone."
Isaiah 42:16
One of my favorite scenes is right after they tell Jane Fonda that they are going to get married. Jane leaves the room and almost has a nervous breakdown then decides the couple must be pregnant so that is why they are going to tie the knot. She has to find some reason her son to going to marry THIS woman...someone who SHE thinks is, of course, not right for him and definitely out of his league. Jane thinking she has it all figured out puts on her game face, after almost having a nervous breakdown in the other room, and pulls it together. You see, this is a woman who prides herself on control...controlling situations as well as always looking her best and having the upper hand. When she returns to the young couple she doesn't realize she has a tuft of hair standing straight up on the crown of her head. She acts as if everything is normal and calls for her assistant to bring a bottle of champagne. Ruby, the assistant, won't bring the champagne because apparently Jane has a drinking problem and the alcohol is suppose to stay locked up. Jane continues to ask for the champagne to be brought and and the assistant opposes the idea all the time Jane is trying to cover up and pretend like Ruby is quite the "joker" and everything is normal. Finally, with this bantering back and forth, Ruby says,"Fine, but do something with that hair...you look like a damn peacock with that hair sticking up like that!" Jane turns to her son and his girlfriend and tells them what a great assistant that woman is!
Hey, maybe it doesn't look so funny in print but it is really funny in the movie...and sorry for the bad word but in context it is funny.! The point being that we like to be in control and we like to have people think that everything is going just fine...peachy king...wonderful...not a care in the world! Even when our world is crumbling around us, we are frazzled to our wits end, and we are doing everything we can to control our lives, we put on the game face and act like we are on top of the world. Why? Is it because of pride...is it because of fear...is it because we don't want to let people in...is it because we don't know who to confide in...is it because if we admit that life is going badly then the fault lies with us because we were in control?
I believe it is because of all of these things. Too often in life the line between responsiblity and control gets murky and we start crossing over that line. We feel more and more pressure to control the circumstances of our lives and the lives of the people around us. As we hit the ups and downs of life, we have loaded up so much false responsibility upon ourselves from trying to control everything, that we don't know how to handle the pressure we have created for ourselves. Denial seems a good choice...isolation is not a bad idea...making light of the reality and hoping it will all work out soon makes sense...! They seem to make sense but not really.
I have an easier solution. Start each day with a heart to heart God. Tell him that you don't want to be in CONTROL of anything today. "Lord, let me be a responsible not a controlling wife, mother, and daughter. Help me to order my day and to take care of the chores, duties, responsibilities, and relationships that need to be tended to today. But, let me not control any people or circumstance. Help me to always leave you in control of my life and the lives of the people I love. Go before me, lead me and help me in all I do today and let it in all ways honor and glorify you!" If we can learn to hand over control of this life to the Master, the one who has had control of all since the beginning we won't have to worry...we won't have to put on a game face...we won't have to "fix our hair because we look like a peacock sitting there"!
"I will lead the blind by a way they do not know,
In paths they do not know I will guide them
I will make darkness into light before them
And rugged places into plains
These are the things I will do,
And I will not leave them undone."
Isaiah 42:16
Thanks for the words! I am reading this a couple of weeks after you posted it but it was meant for me to read today!
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